Break The Ice

My Dearest Josh Guest,

While I have not always been the most reliable friend to you, this one question I can answer, but only for you. As a person of great standing you must truly understand that any strand of pearls can and will be bought at a local jewelry store but these, THESE pearls are special. Why are they so special you ask? Well let me just tell you.

DISCLAIMER: IF ONE OR ALL PARTIES READING THIS BLOG ARE STILL BELIEVERS IN SANTA...KEEP READING.

Young Josh, the lovely strand of pearls that you inquired about came from the North Pole from one obese elderly man in red. In my many travels I have had the opportunity to travel to the top of our little planet. I was wearing nothing but my lucky jeans(which unfortunately have a hole in them mid-thigh, NOT GOOD FOR SNOW)and a light NorthFace fleece jacket. Needless to say it was rather chilly with their negative 600 degree weather.

While I was making my way up to the top of Mt. Crumpit I fell upon some rather sweet reindeer friends I now affectionately call Vixen, and Donner. As you might know all of Santa's reindeer are female so I felt comfortable when Donner asked me to jump on her back and she would take me to warmth. Like any 20 year old I trusted the talking snow creature and hopped on.

Our adventure was swift and bloody freezing. As we arrived to our destination I knew immediately that we were at Santa's house. I knew this primarily from the giant sign that said "Welcome to Santa's house." Vixen invited me inside the shack and being the trusting soul I am I politely obliged. Inside I found a whole lot of cookies, candy canes and reindeer feces, they all live together you see. The rather heavy man sitting in the big red chair had invited me to sit on his lap. Now I have been around the block and any man older than 40 who invites you to sit on his lap is officially labeled CREEPER. Regretfully I declined the molesters offer and sat next to my home girls AKA The Reindeer.

The old man continued to try to talk to me but I think after 6 hours he finally picked up on my, "please don't talk to me's" and the occasional, "They let you near children?" Not taking offence to any of these comments he finally asked me to step outside with him. I agreed due to the fact that the sweet smell of cookies and scat, were getting to my stomach.

After a few awkward moments the elderly gentleman asked me what I wanted for Christmas and I answered the same way that I answered you today Brother Guest, " I want to go home and see my family." In addition I asked him for some help with the whole getting warm thing. He made a suggestive comment to me and was quickly met with a rapid slap to the face (that's really why his cheeks are always red) and then he did something unexpected. He rolled up a very small snowball, then another, then another. After about 50 snowballs he pulled a very long white hair from his beard and laid it across the snowballs. One warm breath from his mouth and the hair sunk into the white balls. He then lifted the roped snowball necklace from the ground and tied it around my neck. He swore that the necklace would keep Me warm. I called BS on that but it worked! Then he poofed me home to my family.

So sir, as you might have concluded, I wore the pearls to church today not to look nice but to keep me warm.

Thank you very much for your inquiry about my necklace and I hope I renewed your faith in Santa my very tall handsome friend.

Your Over Dramatic Wife for the Day,
Ash

Out From Under

Well the hustle and bustle of the holiday season is truly upon us. I had made a few Christmas gift purchases and headed to the dollar tree to buy the basics; tape, wrapping paper, bags etc. I walked into the store and found an overpopulated hospital. There were people everywhere. As you might know I like people in small doses. As I shifted through the aisles trying to find my necessities I was infested with people I would label as "low." They were unkept, dirty, poorly dressed and sick. Harsh I know, but it's a harsh world.

After all items had been gathered I prepared to stand in the line of ill taken care of beings. All this time I was in my "west Salem" state of mind (I am too good to be standing next you.) But when I got to the check stand I found an attractive older black woman with a big smile on her face. Now like I said I like people very much in small groups, but I especially like black people because they speak their mind. I made polite small talk as she rang up all my goodies. I said something along the lines of "My goodness, I bet you are really excited for your shift to be up soon."

Now we all have these moments in life that when you come upon them you just know that in that second something in you has been changed forever. This was my slap in the face, my sobering thought if you will.

She said, "Well I appreciate the extra hours," this is the part that kills me even in this moment while I hit the replay button I have a tear running down my cheek. She paused from checking, looked in my eyes and said, "Babies just don't understand why there isn't food on the table." It felt like I just took a bullet.

We all complain at one time or another that there isn't enough money but for this woman there REALLY isn't enough money. I got in the car, called my mom and thanked her for all she has done for me.

I am going to try to live a more grateful life. This will be my New Years Resolution.

He's Just A Boy.

Boys are stupid. Except for that they aren't at all.

There is something about a man that wants you, but he can't.

If he thought I would wait for him, he thought wrong. Except for that he knows I will.

And I wish he wouldn't look at me like that it just makes me want to make him near me always.

I want him to stay. Except that I know he won't.

Boys are stupid.

My Life Soundtrack

Ashlyn:The Soundtrack



Opening Credits: Bitch-Merideth Brooks
Elementary Theme: The Overture-Cats
Middle School Theme: Tearin Up my heart-'NSYNC
High School Theme: Swing Swing-All American Rejects Prom: All my Life-K-Ci and JoJo College Theme: Not A Girl Not Yet A Woman-Britney Spears
Falling In Love: I'll Be-Edwin McCain
Fight Song: Fighter-Christina Aguilera
Breaking Up: The things lovers do-Julie Andrews
Mental Breakdown: 9 Crimes-Damien Rice
Driving: Two Times-The Blakes
Flashback: Boston-Augustana
Getting Back Together: What I Didn't Say-Saving Jane
Wedding: Here - Rascal Flats
Final Battle: I'm not Okay- My Chemical Romance
Death Scene: Savannah Smiles-Okkervil River
Funeral Song: Please Remember Me-Tim McGraw
End Credits: The Quest- Bryn Christopher

The Tragedy That We Know As The End

It's Been A Year Today Since Tracey Died.


...They Said It Would Feel Better By Now.

Life Pictures

Soooo.....My BFF Kaelyn came down a bit ago and I presented to her the proposition of "Life Pictures." Life pictures is an idea I came up with while on a hike a few months ago with my dad. The idea is to capture the essence of you in one photograph. After many tried and failed attempts Kae and I took this one.




Now let me explain--
SETTING
I am halfway out the door for two reasons. Number one, I am always running around doing something. Number two, I am late for all those things:-) Always add 15 minutes to the time I am supposed to be there.

OUTFIT
Dress--I love to go out and have a classy night out, but hike that skirt up a little and I am good to go to a club and get my dance on.

Boots--I used to ride horses when I was younger and then again when I dated a cowboy a couple years back. I feel the best when I am outside with dirt on my boots and sweat in awkward places.

ACCESSORIES
Bracelet--On my right wrist is a sterling silver wrist cuff. Sterling silver because you gotta love your just under gold quality metals. More specifically the symbol that is on the cuff, it's the breast cancer ribbon. Deep down I am terrified of anyone in my family, or myself for that matter getting cancer. Maybe if it sees I'm on it's side it won't make a visit to me and mine.

Sunglasses--I am a little bit of a diva.

Starbucks Mug--My drink of choice, 1/2 chocolate, 1/2 regular soy milk, with a spitz of hazelnut steamed to perfection with 2 seconds of whip cream on the top. It's complicated like me.

Stethoscope--Medicine is the one thing in the world that lets us get as close to playing god as possible. I heart power and people, the two things that are the epitome of medicine.

The Blackberry--My sanity. I am a P-L-A-N-N-E-R. My life is in that little phone. It is also how I keep in contact with all my crews.

Sex and the City--Lastly my girls from sex and the city. They are funny successful women who don't NEED a man, and view them as these great guys to have fun with and less of a life goal. That's all a ditto for Ashlyn as well.

There ya go. You wanted to know me. There it is, all in one picture.

P.S. I will let Kaelyn explain hers.

The Betrayl of the Ring

For those of you that don't know, I wear a wedding ring at work to keep the creepers away. Wednesday I went to Fred Meyer right after work still in my scrubs and still wearing THE RING. I was waiting around for an employee to come and help me mix paint for my bathroom. Out of the corner of my eye I saw an attractive man to my right walking up to me. He introduced himself to me and I of course responded with a name to him. He then told me he was going to try to help me mix this paint dealio although he was a virgin to paint mixing. I made casual and assertive flirtation with this well tanned skinned Zach Braffish haired man. It was then that he said it.

"I am going to school for Nuclear Med."

As the words dripped from is full lips like that drop of toothpaste that just won't quite fall (that was for you Josh) I realized I had fallen in "crush."

We flirted for a few more minutes discussing our lives like long lost friends. As the paint mixer slowed to a halt I held my breath to see if he would say the words that all swooning young girls wait to hear. "Your paint is finished," just kidding, "hey would it be alright if I called you sometime?" I lifted my left hand to pick up the freshly mixed paint container when he saw my deceiver! The Fake Ring. He looked at the pseudo-attachment band for a moment looked up at me with that beautiful letdown face and said, "well he is a lucky man." He then turned his well formed back to me and walked away.

What could I do?! I couldn't chase after him, how pathetic. So instead my friend Julie and I have decided to stalk Fred Meyer man and fulfill some girlish idea of "Lust at First sight"

Curse you ring of betrayl for doing your job.

The Friend Zone

I had a boyfriend once that said that his friends were his family. I always put what he said in my "aww that's sad" file and let it go. But now that I have moved away from my family and am on my own, I understand what he meant. My friends are my everything. So this particular blog is a shout out for my crew.



I have had so many life altering experinces since I have been down here that have truly changed me in my soul. This change is in large part due to my friend and savior Jesus Christ as well as my earthly friends. I just want to say thanks to you all for molding me into someone I am really proud of. Through the good times in the snow and sun to those nights when I had to realize that Tracey and Jared were actually gone, my friends were always there. I Love You All




I will close with one of my favorite quotes by one of my favorite artists.

"Never shall I forget the days I spent with you. Continue to be my friend, as you shall always find me yours."

-Ludwig Van Beethoven

We Twenty Something Women

It is the ultimate decision for us twenty something girls. We really only want one thing at this point in our lives. Love or Labels. Let me explain.

Love~Ultimately it is what we all seek. Studies have been done to show that a baby will die if it does not have that connection with another human being. Even if the infant is fed, clothed and kept safe from the immediate threats of life, it will die if not touched. Love is this action that can move mountains. It is so drilled in our heads from when we are young to find the right man, what about those who just aren't interested? Are we going against primal nature?

Labels~Dior, Manolo Blahnik, Doctor, Lawyer, all labels. It is this LOVE for these labels that make strong women. Women that could potentially change the way this world works. In Iraq as we speak people are dying for the right to have their girls to go to school. They are dying! And some girls these days just go to school to meet a man and as soon as they find one, drop all hope of being something greater than just a wife.

So I will return to the question: Love or Labels? The ultimate life question, and therefore the title to my Nouveau BlogSpot.

I have my eye on Gucci's new mochoa throw over sachelbag.

Pray tell what does that say about me?